26th November, 2003 sound Sound Cassette English Abhijeet Joshi Oral Interview Interview 059 Prabha Mistry Female 45 46 Africa

U.K. EN English Okay Mrs. Mistry, I just want to start off like I said just before I want you to just tell me about your parents and just like to get an idea of your ancestral history? Both my parents are dead now. My mom just passed away in April. My dad passed away in 1980. Okay. And where were they born? Mom, they were both in India. Whereabouts? Gujarat. Do you know the names of the villages? Well, my mom was born in a place called Lakhanpur and my dad was born, I think Jalapur, a village called Jalapur I think and then, yeah that's it. Yeah, and what was his profession? My dad, well in Kenya, he used to, he was a mechanic sort of thing, Engineering. He used work in a Airport repairing Fridge, Refrigerator and things like that and he also used to repair cars. So, and you said you were born in Africa. In Africa, yeah. So do you know why your parents moved to Africa? Well, they moved when I think the African Government was saying that you know that all have to, all Asian has to move from here now, you know. Yeah, but why did they move from India, first of all to Africa? My father came from Kenya to England and me and my mom and my brother and sister, we went to India and from India because my dad was here he called us here in England. Alright, okay, so your family was separated. Yeah. So how old were you then when this all happened? I was about four, I think three-four. So do you remember much of this? Not really. No. No, and you can't remember because you, where were you in Kenya? And do you remember anything from that time ago? No, I don't think, no there is nothing much of Kenya now. And then you went to India? India, yeah. We stayed there for two years. And do you remember anything from there much? Very little. Very faintly little thing. And have you ever been back to Kenya or to India? Yeah, I have been twice. I have been to India twice. And you have ever been back to Kenya? No. And have you got any family there? No. Nothing. They just, they move then and they just, they left again? And then so what was it like for your mother then to be separated? Well, it was hard for her because I had a sick brother who had a hole in the heart and it was very hard to stay in India because only us there. My grandparents, my grandmother was there, not my granddad but my grandmother was there when we went there but she was in another town, another village. It was hard in a place, there lesser money coming in. And was there any other family then as well or was it just your grandmother? Just, well it was only grandmother and uncle and you know the people in the village who we knew you know like far distant relation. Yeah, it is not the same. No, it is not the same, yeah. So what year did your father then call you to England? We came here 1967. Right, and do you remember what was it like coming? What? Did you fly? We fly, yeah. We came here 1960, it was in winter, it was snowing, cold. And then we came here and then went straight to my granny house. They had also came here before us. At our place called Ashton, it's in Lancashire. So we came to Leicester that day and that night we went back to the granny house. Because it's straight to Leicester than to Lancashire. My granny house, yeah, that's right. Mom did not have, dad didn't have a house, he didn't. Was he sharing? Yeah. He was sharing with other people you see. All right, okay. And what was it like then, did your father get a job when he moved here because he was here, already so what was he doing? I think he was working in a, what you call, for how can I describe? Because he was an Engineer. It was like; he used to repair or something a big boiler or sort of thing. What for factories or something like that? Well, yeah. I am not really sure because I was very. You are not sure, yeah. You were so little. Yeah, and he used to you know, he used to come to weekend to my granny house and weekdays he used to stay here. Yeah. And so when did you get a place together then? We stayed with my granny about a year, I think and then bought house here and we moved here to Leicester. To Leicester, all right. And, by that stage did you start at school? Yeah. What was that like? Did you speak English? No, not really. So was that difficult for you? It was, I can't really remember because it was bit difficult but that time it was, school was nice Yeah, it was fun school. Fun school, yeah. Rather than serious learning. Yeah. It was, yeah. So by then you learned English after that? And then how was it for your mother? Mom came here and next day she started work in Ashton, a factory, in a bakery. We came and we have to take my brother to hospital where he was put in a hospital. Mom had to start work the next day. And we just got her and I just have to go school and stayed with me granny. And how many other brothers and sisters did you have? I have got another three brothers and a sister. Okay, and you are the? I am the fourth one. Okay. So they were bit older than you then as they all went to school then as well. And so then what was the life in Leicester at that time? Was it? It was nice that time. Quiet, not many Asians, not many centers like this. No. There weren't any center like this. And, what was it, was there, do you remember like community events? Sorry? Do you remember any community events happening then like Diwali or Navratri or anything, was there nothing like that? Community events, no, there were, hardly nothing there. And did you have things in your house then like when you eventually got your house in Leicester? Well, when we came here we didn't have anything really. It's just the old beds that my father's friend gave. Well, uncle Ray, we used to call him uncle Ray yeah and Sylvia. They used to live at Hunt Hill road and they helped us, got those you know, got old sofas and old beds and we used to, got on with that. So had to make do with that. Yeah. And then what was it like for your mother, I mean obviously when you are older you realize over like buying kind of Indian groceries or anything like that, was it difficult? Well, it was difficult at first but after a few year as more Indian came, there were little shops you know selling all piece of things and you know like cooperating the thing like that. So. And what was it like for you then actually growing up here? It was a, well we came here, we have all started going school again and junior school was in our next to our street. What school did you get in? Catherine Junior School. Catherine Junior? I used to go there years back. Did you? Yeah. Catherine Junior School, yeah. We had all right there, then from that initially girls' school. From there we went to mix school, boys and girls. And what was that like? Wasn't bad? Wasn't bad? No. It was okay. It's okay, yeah. And, were your parents, you know were they quite strict, were you allowed to go out and do things or anything? No. What was it like? Dad din't even used to let us wear the trousers, no Punjabi suit. Oh really. So what did you wear? Just English clothes. But skirts? Skirts and things like that and sarees. They didn't used to let us go to this nine days Navratri. They didn't used to. Why not? Because they may be used to because it was like you know, boys there and there used to be fights and things like that. Really. Yeah. Okay. You don't know, there is a temple on the Harleyson Road, like on tenth street, we used to go there and they used to you know be there but not really you have to go you know, they will be very straight. So then what happened then when you finished school, did you go to 'A' levels or? I went to work. You went to work and where did you work? Yeah. At first where did I work? Yeah, somewhere in town, a place called, I can't really remember the place but it was somewhere St. Margaret path used to be, now this is opposite to traffic light. It's somewhere in that. Right there. What kind? Was it a shop or a factory? No. It's a factory. Then I worked in a, I also worked in Mansfield town and then I worked yeah, that was a strange place, there used to be a factory there, so we worked there as well. But they were all textile factories? Well. Yeah. And then obviously we live in a home all this time and did you get married then? I got married 1980 December 27th. So how old were you? I was 21. And was that an arranged marriage? Yeah. And where was your husband? Where is he? India. He is from India? So what was that like for you because you grew up here and then he came? It was difficult yeah; I didn't really wanted to get married with him. Things happened and I couldn't say, couldn't say anything to mom because there was too tension. So I just jumped in it. His family they are all in India as well? They are all in India. So I mean how did you get a place, you obviously got a place or did he come to your house? He came to his Aunty's house in Bradford. I mean did you get, were you married here? Yeah. Was it is a big wedding or a small one? No, because my dad died in August and we got married in December. So wasn't a big one. Just a few people that's all. Yeah. And then so what happened then afterwards? Did you get a job or you just did that thing or? I went to Bradford to his aunt, stayed there for I think 2 months or 3 months and from there I moved, didn't like it, moved to Nottingham stayed with his uncle for about for few months then I made move to Leicester and stayed with a friend for about a year about 18 months I think. Were both of you or just you yourself? Yeah. Me and my husband. You and your husband. Okay. And Narborough road and from Narborough road Roberts road, from Roberts road to where I am living now. So did you carry after you got married, you carried on working? Yeah. After I got married I worked for few months. Yeah. I think about a year, yeah then I was, I had not job actually. My husband started to work, so he got into work. I got work you know, here and there for few months that's all. Then I was, I had the babies. How many children do you have? I have got three girls. How old are they now? One is 17, one is 14 and one is 11. What is it like, how do you bring them up, because do you bring them up Hindu or yeah? Well, yeah. Do you teach them how you were taught or do you do things differently? No. I don't, I have got no strictness there. Yeah. I tell them that you have to be Indian as well as English. They listen to English song more than the Indian you see. When I tell, they says, 'oh mom be quiet. There is no strictness there like they wear what they want to, trousers. My girls they don't wear skirts, they only wear trousers. And what do you actually, like what were your parent's traditions like did they have a family guru or what was it? No. Just a simple, old you know praying by the God. That's all. That's it. And do they have a family Murti that they specifically worshipped like you know Rama or Krishna? No. Nothing? Every God was same. Same, okay. So do you carry on that tradition now? Well. Yeah. What you do? I carry same old thing that's all. I don't go for Guru or things. My husband doesn't believe in Gurus. And was the family that you married into, do they have like a different tradition or are they same? Same. And do you go to the temples here at Leicester or do you go for the festivals or? Something, some festivals not every day, you know every festivals we go that's it. Okay. And what actually makes you then a Hindu? What do you believe? So I mean you were born into it but what actually makes you Hindu what you believe is different by you that makes you. Its the festival, culture, what you know the work as a festival what we should do plus that's the way we brought up. And do you, is there any specific beliefs that you would like to live by yourself like those just personal to you that you think of I want to do this, this way because it makes me feel good or what you know the, there are so many different beliefs in Hinduism is there any one you have particularly picked up on yourself like do you do like charity work or you know these are all these different elements in Hinduism in that? Well, don't mind doing charity work but I never thought about it, going away you know.. Yeah. That is just one example of like different ways that people like to express you know what I mean, like organizing festivals or doing you know community work and you know things like this. Yeah. We do have part you know in our mysteries, what you call, community yeah whenever we can. But I haven't even, I haven't volunteered saying that well I will do this for whole the time you know, we do take part whenever we can. And I mean how do you think the youths of today are more or less religious than what it--? Less. Less. You think less, definitely, yeah. Why do you think that? Because my own children, if I am not there, this thing, you know Diva or anything, they don't do it. They are not interested? And do they ever question? They believe in God. Well little, not much but they don't go out and say, 'oh, I must do Diva before I go to work. I must do Diva after have my bath you know. So they just believe a little yeah. And do you think its important for the youth to learn their language like Gujarati or Hindi or Punjabi something. Do you think its important? They should but like I haven't learnt Gujarati no. I don't know how to read it. You don't know. So what you all speak then? Well I can speak but I can't read and write in Gujarati. So my daughter hasn't learnt to read or write in Gujarati. But she can speak, yeah? They can speak. Yeah. That's the most important thing, is? Well, I think nowadays even in India there is lot of English talking you know. Yeah I know everybody speaks English. And nowadays people don't even write letters! There is always email or on the phone or so. When you can get on with it you don't like before they when English was picking, who are in India but nowadays lot of English schools there. Yeah. Everybody. Where, because you have lived in the UK for so long now I mean do you consider yourself British or what is your identity now. Its like, I mean you were born in Africa, you have lived in India, you have lived in the UK, do you see yourself as Indian or this Gujarati element is now what you called yourself if somebody asks you what is your identity? Well. I am still an Indian. Well when I have to fill a form, and I am British-Asian. It is Asian, because I got passport British passport also, I am British. Right. And were would you say as home? What you called home, in your heart? Here. Britain, UK? Yeah. UK. And just one kind of final question, because this is going to be you know may be heard by future generations you don't know who is going to be listening to it in the future doing research or something. Is there any final message that you would like to give to them, but any of your final thoughts on life? We have to change as the time change and if you want to carry on with the traditional just keep on following really, I mean like you have to change a little bit and you have to even keep the traditional as well for your own identity as well, you see. Okay. Thank you. Okay.