Hindu Festivals and Rituals, Life in Assam 10th January, 2004 sound Sound Cassette English Oral Interview Interview Satyajit Dey 182 Rituparna Bhattacharya Sharma Female Assam

U.K. M.A. in Geography, Pursuing Research Lecturer in Cotton College EN Assamese, Hindi, English Okay, Like I mentioned just a little earlier, I would like to just start of the interview with the just simple basic questions, just about your history, and about where were you family came from and specifically could you tell me like the names of the towns, where your parents are born and the state? Okay, we are basically from the north-eastern part of India, actually that is Assam. It's totally in the extreme part of north-eastern Indian actually. So it's basically an underdeveloped city, geographically it is an underdeveloped city; means it's under-developed state, not a city; and we are, my parents are from the different parts of Assam. My mother is from upper-Assam and my father is from lower-Assam; but my father had his job in the city of Guwahati, that is biggest city in Assam, actually. So he was a Professor over there; now he is retired. My mother, she is a school teacher, she is still working over there; and my in-laws, they are also in the city of Guwahati itself. So, and anything else. You mentioned that your mother was working? My mother is still working. Still working, Yeah. Is that, sometimes, it's kind of unusual for that generation do you think, to be working or is there other? No, No, no, They are generally housewives. No, means, it is unusual for the ladies actually. But my mother, she had her career actually. She, in that time she had her, M.A. in English, actually. So she was, means, she was a housewife until I think, we went to school actually; and after that she got a job and now she is the head-mistress of the college, school actually. So where do you fit into this then? Did you have older brothers and sisters or? Yeah, I had two brothers and myself. We are three of us actually and nobody; and my parents. Okay, so tell me a little bit of what you remember then, from growing up? What was your family situation like and then schooling? See, being from an underdeveloped country actually; and being the woman status, I am also concerned with that, actually. But we are quite fortunate being born in the state of Assam actually. Maybe the women are given a liberal status as compared to that of the other states of India actually. So in many ways, actually there are many examples of that. So, and my parents, they were too liberal actually. So I had my education in a missionary school because in India we have many good missionary schools, actually. So I had my education in a missionary school; and we used to stay in a campus, university campus. So we had a very peaceful life within the campus, very cooperative life within the campus, very helpful attitude. We had people with a helping attitude at any time, when we needed actually. Okay, you said that Assam is considered more liberal, that maybe from rest of the states? Can you give me some examples of that? Yes, actually, being, means, our Assam is a state, although its domain is patriarchal state, but it is surrounded by the matriarchal society, the tribal society. So in tribal society, you know the matriarchal, where the mother rules, means the lady rules. She is the head of the family. Yes, she is the head of the family. So I think, that influence had come into our society; because our women were not within the four walls of the house, they could go out at any time and work actually; that boundary was not there in our society, still it is; and violence, the atrocities against women were not much in our society previously, and we did not have the dowry system in our society Oh! Really. Yeah, we did not, I said, actually we did not, but since the people have, from other parts of India have migrated into our society; now it is there, that influence has been there into our society actually; and gradually the violence has increased in our society. In that way, in the present day actually, means, the status of women has deteriorated as compared to the past. In the past. Yeah. So you went to the University then and what did you study in the University? See, I had my graduation from Cotton College in Assam itself; but I had my M.A., that is my Masters actually, in Geography from Banaras Hindu University in Uttar Pradesh. Okay. Yeah. So tell me little bit about then, about what you did after University? After University! Yeah. means, after my Masters I again went back to my native-place actually; then I was searching for a job and within two months, I think I got a very temporary job in a college quite far away from my place actually; then I got another job in another district actually, so; What kind of jobs it is? This was a, means, a lecturer actually; lecturer in a college. So I worked in that college; it is called Bojali College. I worked there for about two years, actually; and means, just, yeah, I left it after two months of, after my marriage, in 1998 actually. So I worked there for two-years; then just after my marriage, in my city itself, in Guwahati, that is the Cotton College, I got a new job, i.e. lecturer in Cotton College, and still there working as a lecturer. Oh! All right, okay. Now I am on leave for my research over here. Okay. Yeah. Oh! So was it an arranged marriage? Yeah, my marriage was an arranged marriage because in India still, I think sixty, more than sixty percent of marriages are arranged marriages, yeah; and I was one of the, means, its, a best examples of arranged marriage, because my marriage was arranged through the house, typically Indian marriage actually. Oh! All Right. Yeah. So did your parents, who, who introduced you to then? Did some family know, you know, how was it? I actually, actually, means, while we knew Jayanta's family, means, quite a long time actually, but, we, means, not very intimately; but we knew it through some of the relatives, actually; but we never thought of, my parents never thought of that actually, in that way. But I think, I had to get married to Jayanta. So, some mediator, they came I think. I think they just introduced the horoscopes and they just; what they said, means Matched They just matched it, matched it and we got married. Tell me; tell me little bit, because I have seen you in your wedding video. It's very elaborate and long. But tell me a little bit about it for the records. Tell me, how, what happened? I, means, how the marriage was fixed? The whole, the whole. Actually, my, see, my marriage was fixed in 1997 and after few days of my marriage, he got a, means, he got a post or a job over here, actually Jayanta, he came over here; and we had practically no contact, except through some letters, we, practically we had no contact. So we again on 15th of October, 1998, we got married; and just in our marriage, means Assamese marriage is quite different from the marriages of rest of India, actually. So, means, I said about the dowry system, we don't have in our society; but alternative to that actually, means, dowry is what, means it's the things, the gift and things, given by the daughters parents to the groom actually; but in our case it's the opposite, actually. The day before the marriage actually, in some cases on the same day, actually, in the morning, the things, means the ornaments, and the dresses, it comes from the groom's family, actually. So that is called the "Joron" actually; so and after the "Joron", we have the marriage actually. So marriage is fixed for the next day. So during the day, we have the "Shraddha" and all; means it is called the "Nau Purush Shraddha". So we have done "Shraadha" and in the evening we have the reception and all and at night the marriage, which is through, you know, the rituals are made through the Hindu, means tradition actually. Okay. yeah. So when, after you got married, did Jayanta come? Yeah. Back to UK, then? Yeah, yeah, after seven days of my marriage, he came over here actually. So he was doing some training over here, he had to; so and I stayed back with my in-laws and I had my college and I also basically did not want to come over here, because I had a job over there; and I was not sure that after coming here, I should only stay at home actually; and I did not like to do that. Its quite boring staying alone at home, actually so, and doing nothing; since I had a good job over there. So I stayed there, one year had passed and in the second year she was born, my daughter was born, and I had to stay on because my father-in-law, he got heart-attack. So he was having, he underwent a by-pass surgery; and he, after that, he needed some care as well, actually. So I had to stay then and gradually at the same, means, simultaneously, I was also applying for some of the courses over here, and I don't know, to my luck or some other thing actually, and I got an admission and with that, means, I got the admission, but without scholarships; its quite difficult for Indians to come over here to pursue education. So, to my luck, I got my scholarship as well and I came over here; and now I am pursuing my research over here. Yeah. So tell me what was it like, when you first arrived in UK for the first time? What was that like; can you just say it, the day you came in UK? Yeah, yeah, see, means, although I stayed back there, just after she was born, after she was, I think, six-months or seven-months, I had come for a couple of, I think in 2000, in 2000 I came for a couple of months, actually maybe; and I came on, I think, 4th of June'2000, for two months over here. So it was, means, the weather was very good at that time. Yeah, I liked the weather very much actually; but now its winter, I hate winter, you know. I don't like going out in winter, then it remains dark till 8' O clock in the morning actually. Yeah, Yeah. So that's when I first came for two months, it was quite fascinating, you know. Now also, I like the summer, but I hate the winter. What was it like, like settling in the UK, like, just, you ________ at it everyday, everyday? See, see when I came again in 2000, I think 2001 December, when I just first came for my admission, then I never thought of staying over here actually; means I just thought that, means, Jayanta, he will be finishing his M.Sc.( Path) and I will be finishing my research and will go back. But things have changed then you know; then because Jayanta, he has done his MSc ( Path) then I don't know, to his luck, he has got immediately a job of a consultant; and now he has bought a house in Northshields. I don't know how far it will go actually. I don't whether we will still be here or we will go back to India. Yeah. Yeah, maybe we will stay for some years and go back to India. What was it like, just first, when you first came here and you know, you settled down, you are doing everyday things, and what was it like first meeting new people or making friends, or you know the community wise, what was it like? My experience as being Indian actually. So when I first came over here, there was only one friend of my husband i.e. Chandra, you all know that, actually; then I think, through Chandra and through my husband actually, I came to know you all actually. So getting to know people was quite fascinating actually; means in India, I never had the chance to meet with, means, mix with British people. So mixing with people of other countries, it was quite, it was quite a fascinating experience for me. That maybe known, just a little bit, I want to ask you about your religious traditions or you Hindu traditions? Could you tell me a little bit about where your family are coming from? What traditions do they followed or do they have a specific "murti' that they worship or "guru" or something? Actually what happens, although we are Hindu, there are two, I think, streams, I am not sure about, i.e. "Shakta" and "Vaishnava" actually. So we do not belong to the Vaishnava; my means, parents and in-laws, they do not belong to the Vaishnavaism, they follow the "Shakta" one. Although we are Vaishnavs, we follow all the Gods. We do "Shiva-Puja", we do "Durga-Puja", we do "Janmasthami," we do "Kali-Puja", we do everything actually; and you know one thing actually, means, that is the , I don't know the speciality for the Hindus, especially the Brahmins, means, we are Brahmins actually, from the north-eastern part of India actually, specially Assam, Bengal and the Jha's of Bihar, Bihar actually. Although the Brahmins, they are meat-eaters, you know. Yeah, Yeah, and my family they are meat-eaters, but my in-laws, they do not eat. It's not a religious tradition, but they don't eat meat, because they don't like it. So, I was a meat-eater, but now, since my in-laws, my husband won't take it, actually I don't take it. You stopped as a result. Yeah. Okay, and what about for your self personally? Do you do any rituals weekly, or daily? Do you have a routine that you follow? Yea, yeah, yeah. Early in the morning, I do have over here as well; I do have a small "Puja-Ghar" actually. I have made in my own home actually. So it's not that I am very religious; but everyday in the morning, I have a shower and I go to my "Puja-Ghar", I just lighted the candles and, what is call, what is called the "dhoop". Incense; yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, "agarbattis." . Okay, yeah, yeah, so you do that? Yeah. Everyday. Yeah, everyday, everyday. Okay, that's kind of ritual side of things, but what about the philosophy, what are your like values on life as a Hindu, you know? See, as a Hindu, actually, basically I don't, means, my basic philosophy is service to mankind. I want to be a good human being, actually; do not harm anybody; means, that is my own philosophy. I don't know whether it falls, belongs to any Hinduism or Christianism or means Muslims; that is my own philosophy. Okay. Yeah. Okay, and then, what, what about your, well your child? Will you going to pass on these values then, to your child? Yes. Or how will you do that, then? See, I want her to be a good human being actually; means she should have, means inculcate, means not that one, she should be a good human being; she should have honesty in her actually; and that she should follow the philosophy that service to man is service to God, actually. I want her to actually, up-bring her in that way. Okay, can you think it is important for the children to learn their mother tongue. To some extent, they should learn because, they should know where they come from actually, because, religion is a personal thing; they can change that any moment of their life, if they wish to, actually. But the mother -tongue is their own identity actually, and so if they do not know their mother-tongue, at one point of time, I think, they will have some identity crisis, actually; so where they come from. So they should know a bit of their mother-tongue, actually. Okay, and in general, do you think that the youth of today, that they are more or less religious, then when you were a teenager or ? It's a difficult question, actually; because you have to make another study for that; but by seeing today's media, means, the infrastructure is more developed in the present day as compared to our times, actually; when we were teenagers. Yeah. So today's teenagers, even in India actually, today's teenagers, they are attracted more towards the media, actually; and media you can say, sometimes unwanted scenes are shown actually. So in that way, they can go astray actually. So, so it's difficult to say, it depends on the family values as well. You can say that, the children of today are less religious as compared to our time, actually. Okay, and another general issue that is often raised and it's often debated, that's why, I would like to ask you about it, is that the caste system, the issues that arise because of it. Do you think that they are still a major issue today, both here and in India? Caste issue to certain extent, yes. It is a major issue actually. It's still in India, actually; because see, in India, in my state, I feel that caste come into, when it's the time for marriage, actually. When it's the time for marriage, they will go for, means most of the marriages are arranged marriage; and even the marriages are love marriages, the parents, if the two couples, they select each other, parents will see whether the guy is from a low caste or from a high caste, actually. Yeah, means caste comes as an issue when it the time for marriage, in my state actually. But when I studied, I said I studied my M.A. in Banaras Hindu University, actually; therein every respect casteism is damm sure, actually; because, means, it's, I think, casteism is more than an issue in northern part of India, then in my state. Then in Assam. Yeah. Okay, you mentioned to me a little, a little earlier, just a final thought about whether you would stay in UK or to move back home again? I mean, how much of an issue would that be to you, to have to stay here or you know, for this country to become like your home or to be back to India? See, I haven't thought of that actually; means we do have a plan that, means, we want to make a project in our own state actually, so that we can help the people of our society. So for that we need money; to be very frank actually, and to be very honest, actually. Yeah. So for that if we need money, we can, and that too earning honestly, we can stay over here and do that thing, and then go back to our own country and serve the people, actually. Okay, and just finally then to round up the interview, do we have any final thoughts or final messages, you can give to people who will be listening to the interview then in the future? Means. It could be anything, just any final thought on Hinduism or on how to lead your life, or this is also for people who maybe listening to this? Yeah, yeah, I want myself to be a good human being and I want the others also, so that the violence is stopped in our society, in this society, in anywhere actually. Violence in any form is stopped. Thank you very much. Yeah, Thank you.